who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
