So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
