Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"