apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'