I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
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he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
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Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?