i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize