I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
