She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
