I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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