he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
