it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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