They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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