Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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