Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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