tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize