i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
