There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
