The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
