Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
