I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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