Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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