It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
