remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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