My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
