real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
