I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Your penis caused this!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
