If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
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I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
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I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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