She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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