I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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