Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
