i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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