sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize