Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
