well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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