we have officially lost it.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
