when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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