Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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