It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
