I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
