hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
