Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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