I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
