okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
