I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like iHOP with fire
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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