please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
porn star boner night. come get it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
