Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
