Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
