I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize