Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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