The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
