And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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