drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
