Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I am available for nakedness
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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