Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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