Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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