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• (949): View more from California

  im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume

  Fav 27 1461 4405

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..

  Fav 25 7149 1789

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he even offered to make my bed in the morning.

  Fav 37 8545 1422

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.

  Fav 23 4604 1129

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.

  Fav 16 2775 1211

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Deal.

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