So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
