im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.