He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
