Texts From Last Night

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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.

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  (910): that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time. http://tfl.nu/0332
  Replies (11) Good night (808) Bad night (3581)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree

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  (574): So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree http://tfl.nu/l7gp
  Replies (46) Good night (5955) Bad night (1848)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse

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  (407): he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse http://tfl.nu/je2y
  Replies (160) Good night (11460) Bad night (1195)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.

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  (303): It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes. http://tfl.nu/06hp
  Replies (36) Good night (878) Bad night (9658)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.

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  (215): Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything. http://tfl.nu/hi5p
  Replies (5) Good night (3856) Bad night (944)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.

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  (617): Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal. http://tfl.nu/pm4h
  Replies (4) Good night (1333) Bad night (2979)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?

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  (732): WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"? http://tfl.nu/186c
  Replies (4) Good night (1600) Bad night (644)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof

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  (832): The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof http://tfl.nu/eyc5
  Replies (7) Good night (2552) Bad night (747)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.

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  (603): Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight. http://tfl.nu/r24v
  Replies (17) Good night (2151) Bad night (1179)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.

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  (910): Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down. (803): Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you. http://tfl.nu/a5n4
  Replies (8) Good night (1764) Bad night (765)
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  (323): View more from California

  well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.

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  (323): well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men. http://tfl.nu/1jv8
  Replies (25) Good night (1979) Bad night (1201)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.

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  (321): I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see. http://tfl.nu/2cw0
  Replies (3) Good night (851) Bad night (454)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work

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  (850): apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work http://tfl.nu/utr1
  Replies (10) Good night (1053) Bad night (600)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...

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  (732): it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits... http://tfl.nu/8y9r
  Replies (8) Good night (1293) Bad night (466)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.

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  (727): After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since. http://tfl.nu/pkb8
  Replies (2) Good night (237) Bad night (709)

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