How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.