Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.

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  (413): Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist. http://tfl.nu/vfvp
  Replies (33) Good night (5769) Bad night (1532)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition

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  (352): im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition http://tfl.nu/5ifl
  Replies (18) Good night (1029) Bad night (5271)
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  (585): View more from New York

  she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?

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  (585): she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year? http://tfl.nu/9o4d
  Replies (58) Good night (10065) Bad night (984)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.

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  (937): There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich. http://tfl.nu/hmr5
  Replies (28) Good night (16916) Bad night (1633)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?

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  (503): What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you? http://tfl.nu/o1lb
  Replies (27) Good night (1298) Bad night (5626)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.

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  (708): bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not. http://tfl.nu/0qt3
  Replies (12) Good night (6486) Bad night (1018)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS

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  (301): I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS http://tfl.nu/2dnv
  Replies (8) Good night (2951) Bad night (1088)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.

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  (678): Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask. http://tfl.nu/uqhe
  Replies (16) Good night (2831) Bad night (761)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...

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  (734): You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part... http://tfl.nu/5hsp
  Replies (2) Good night (1040) Bad night (665)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!

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  (515): I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th! http://tfl.nu/5xz8
  Replies (0) Good night (1135) Bad night (587)
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  (914): View more from New York

  We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.

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  (914): We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo. http://tfl.nu/ouwj
  Replies (25) Good night (4459) Bad night (719)
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  (818): View more from California

  So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth

  (323): View more from California

  Gross

  (818): View more from California

  AN ACTUAL PICKLE

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  (818): So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth (323): Gross (818): AN ACTUAL PICKLE http://tfl.nu/hdiy
  Replies (7) Good night (2020) Bad night (666)
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  (530): View more from California

  .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.

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  (530): .......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space. http://tfl.nu/f94k
  Replies (11) Good night (978) Bad night (1384)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for

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  (262): It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for http://tfl.nu/8tbr
  Replies (6) Good night (398) Bad night (305)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon

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  (508): meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon http://tfl.nu/f6jb
  Replies (0) Good night (248) Bad night (162)

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