Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize