She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
