I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
the day after is always just damage control
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize