You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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