i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
